Beyond The Grind: How to Build a Relationship with Yourself that Actually Lasts
Whether you have constantly been the friend that gives 100% of yourself to make sure everyone around you is happy, or you feel pressured into conforming into someone you’re not to please others, it can sometimes be hard to remember who you truly are on the inside.
While the idea of building a relationship with yourself may sound cliche or even embarrassing or awkward at some points, it really is the epitome of being able to live your own life to the fullest. When you are able to wake up every single day and solely rely on yourself to get you through the day, it can feel not only empowering, but like a breath of fresh air.
Don’t get us wrong, having a strong support system of friends and family is very important when it comes to having a relationship with your own mental wellbeing, however, it is important to make sure that it is not the only piece of string tying you all together.
Below are some tips to help you build a relationship with the most important person in your life, YOU.
1. “Don’t Talk To My Friend Like That”
When speaking negatively about myself around one of my friends, they interrupted my thought with “Don’t Talk to my friend like that,” and it made such a difference in my way of thinking. Sometimes, putting ourselves in a third person perspective can change the entirety of a thought. Next time you feel the need to think negatively about yourself, put yourself in a friends’ shoes, and think “Would I say this to them?” If we wouldn’t tell our friend something negative, why would we put that burden on ourselves?
2. Create small boundaries for yourself
Although sometimes the word boundaries can mean separating ourselves from things, people, or even events that bring us joy, it does not always mean a complete halt from something— more so creating a safe space where you can take a healthy break without any guilt. Some examples of small boundaries include putting your phone away 30 minutes before you go to bed and opting for a book instead, or creating a separate study vs relax environment to encourage productivity.
3. Journalling
While journaling may sound like a cliche way of building a relationship with yourself, it truly can be a great way to not only relieve stress at the end of a long day, but it also be a great way to reflect on everything you have accomplished on your own. You are the one person who gets you through everyday, you are the only person who is responsible for you, and journaling is a great method in practicing positive self-talk in a safe and private space.
Needless to say, creating a positive relationship with yourself can be incredibly rewarding. It can not only help you reflect on other relationships in your life, but it can also help you become a better you in the long run. You are the only person who will be there alongside yourself for the rest of your life. Make your childhood self proud, and be so incredibly proud of how far you have come already.
- Makayla Foster, Peer Wellness Educator Lead
