How to Handle Family Tension
Are you excited about the break but a little anxious about family time? Spending time with our family might bring some tense situations about differing beliefs or historical conflicts. While we can’t control how relatives and loved ones act, we can be mindful of how we react to them. There are a few strategies to try to minimize the drama
Set Boundaries
It can be helpful to set clear boundaries for how you want to engage with family members or loved ones. Here are some examples of boundaries you might want to set and how you can communicate them.
- Decide what you’re comfortable sharing: Reflect on what parts of your life you feel okay discussing and politely steer away from topics you want to keep private.
- Example: “I’d rather not get into my dating life right now. Let’s talk about what’s new with everyone instead!”
- Navigate political discussions: If family members bring up politics or differing beliefs, set the tone by redirecting the conversation or choosing not to engage.
- Example: “I know we see things differently, but I’d like to focus on enjoying time together instead of debating.
- Respectfully decline debates: When discussions become tense, express your boundaries with kindness and clarity.
- Example: “I think we should agree to disagree on this one."
- Prepare responses for common questions: Anticipate questions about your studies, career, or personal life, and plan answers that maintain your comfort.
- Example: “School is going well, thanks for asking! I’m still figuring out the next steps and will share more when I’m ready.”
- Set expectations for family activities: Be upfront about how you’d like to spend your time and what you’re comfortable participating in.
- Example: “I’d love to join the family dinner, but I’ve planned to meet friends afterwards.”
Take A Break
If you sense things are heating up, try excusing yourself for a moment. Try taking a deep breath or two to ground yourself and or take a quick walk outside to help reset.
Model Good Behaviour
The golden rule is to treat each other as we want to be treated- even with family members you are losing patience with. If you want to feel understood, do your best to understand their perspective. If you take the time to listen, rather than always wanting to get your point across, it increases the prospects of your points being heard as well.
Practice Self-Care
Navigating these situations can be emotionally draining so practicing self-care is essential to preserving your mental and emotional well-being. By prioritizing your own needs, you can better manage difficult interactions, reduce feelings of overwhelm and approach the holidays with more calm and clarity. Plan moments of joy for yourself, such as reading, watching a favourite movie, or time for a hobby.
Remember, you don't have to navigate these situations alone. Reach out to supportive family members or friends who understand and respect your needs. Additionally, make use of mental health resources available to you, such as TalkCampus or Good2Talk, which can provide guidance and support during challenging interactions. Seeking help is a sign of strength and can make the break more enjoyable and less stressful.
-Lindsey Wachter, Health Promoter
